Haunted

Those glares, I've been there before
Hunting someone you hated the most
Now, why are those looking at me?
Have I done something wrong?

Every time I saw you, You wear those sweet smiles
But I know deep inside
You hated me, crying every night,
Hoping I was dead

I know.. I know..
because I've been there before
Haunted by your lover
When will you forgive me?

Tell me, When will you stop?
With those threatening eyes
and Intimidating aura
When will this end.

POKE.

While waiting for my game on its queue, I got bored and stared blankly on my facebook page, suddenly i noticed something on the right screen of my fb page :3 

A poke from "someone" lol

 i guess i forgot to poked back that time maybe got busy missing him? lol jk XD So after poking back , I decided to view his page and a lot of questions had come up on my mind like "What was my first wall post? or How did i treated him before we were like this and stuff" so i started to scroll down and saw one Wall post from me I noticed the  "See Friendship" and clicked it. 

See Friendship = It's where you can see every wall post, comment, likes that is only related between you two [its pretty handy for a stalker lulz]  

So I started reading, reading and reading and I was really having fun, never expecting that our relationship would turn out this way considering the fact that i always treated him coldly and mistreated him before >_> I am so sorry :x 

ah so many flashbacks~ like the time he keeps teasing me because i'm so boyish -.- and those time when he tagged me on music videos where i had no idea why he is doing that lol I wonder why?  oh and I read this 'funny' comment from a friend saying that i had a crush on him and I was trying my best to defend myself, denying every word my friend is saying to prove that it is not true and look what happened now? =.= Not only did I admit that I had a crush on him i'm starting to fall for him even more :/ 

If ever you are reading this post don't you dare mention it to me again XD lol I would be pretty embarrassed HAHA got nothing to blog, so I decided to blog something that is about you :> <3

I LOVE YOU SOOO MUCH :DD

The art of doing nothing.

Sitting all day and doing nothing is one of my daily routines :/ I got so many things in my mind that i really want to do but every time I start working on it I get lazy and ended up not finishing it at all -.-  Right now all i want to do is read read read :3 but I just don't know what to read, I want to read something that I won't get bored easily, A sad novel i guess?

 I really love novels with tragic endings because novel with such proves that I do have emotions XD I'm never into comedy shows because I get bored with there over exaggerating jokes -.- I sometimes think I don't have any sense of humor, they say "I take things too seriously and worry too much" and yes it is true lol 

Obviously I wasn't able to find a novel that suites my taste that's why I'm blogging right now and typing random stuff lol I wonder what I would do after  I post this :/ another blog entry? XD naaah. I wanted to play online games but the game won't let me crap -.- I wanted to watch anime but the buff takes too long D: yes yes i got no luck. you think I should take a nap? but that's boooriiiing D=

anyway, thats all I can say for now till next time ;D

I felt so betrayed.

I'm so mad at someone right now that I don't know how to deal with it. I don't know if we can be friends again :/ I trusted him but his stupidity ruined our friendship and I guess this is the end.

I can't believe on what he had done! His clumsiness is unforgivable because this would really affect my grades. We made a promise that we won't let anyone know but he failed me -.- his cocky personality had to show up and it really pisses me off. Oh why is he pretending to be cool? I just don't get it! for reputation!? That is just WRONG! >___< You should be ashamed on taking credits that is not even yours but he had to do it. Now look what happened, he is stuck on a situation where everyone needs his help! and gave out what was supposed to be ours.

It was better if i knew about it but he kept it from me, and now that I know its already too late. I don't know if i can forgive him, I'm already behind 1 semester from our block if i receive another INC grade in this subject, i'll be delayed for 1 year! AH SO HELP ME >________<

Exams

Can't wait for the deadlines, once I pass all the requirements I can finally have my break ~___~ One more to gooo! CSC defense!  >__________< yosh~ I can do thisssss :3

PARTY PARTY! :3333

Doubt.

I've been wondering if I made the right decision or was I too early to decide on something, this is why I get hurt so easily because I decide too fast, I should have thought of it more clearly before I jump into my decisions :/ but since its already too late then all I have to do is believe. I know that i might get hurt in the end but It's my fault anyway, I should have wait patiently for the right time to tell those stuff tsk.

Skinship

The awkward moment when your best friend falls for you :/ and tells you that he is been attempting to hug you since high-school but failed a lot  O_o gay much? Now i know why he is so clingy -___- I never believe in skinship , but in my opinion its trespassing your privacy. It's against the rule of non-verbal communication which is Proxemics, no matter how bonded your friendship is, it doesn't mean you can hug anyone especially if they are against it :/

Fears.

I don't know if I'm thinking too much, but I'm really scared atm that I might lose something or someone because I don't know how to balance my time :/ ugh my pessimistic attitude is triggering again, good thing I got friends to talk about my problems which made me feel a lot better now.

TIME.

*sigh* I'm so busy that I've been missing my families birthday this month, Yesterday It was my Lola's birthday and I wasn't able to greet her or even go to her house to celebrate because at that time I was at school doing our projects. I also missed Ej's Birthday because I got classes on Evenings, and on Oct. 16,2010 It's Jia's birthday and I'm going to attend a debut :/ This is sad, how can I make up for them >_________< ugh TIME TIME TIME!

HELL WEEK

I'm starting to realize that this is not my month :( so many disappointments, depression, pressure >______< It's hard to balance everything especially if you have many things to do. This is one hell week :/

Too bad i have to give up on our plans this Sunday due to exams and projects crap! >___< I was hoping that I could climb on that mountain before I turned to 18 but I think its not gonna happen :(

Communication Problems, It's so hard to contact everyone if you don't have a cellphone. I badly need one and my Father won't let me because he said its a distraction and a waste of money :/ So I guess I'm gonna buy one with my own money, the cheapest one if possible. Problem is where can I get the money if my allowance everyday is only P50 wtff. So I've decided  to make a deal with the devil lol T^T more like one of my business minded friend XD I've been thinking about what he said and I guess I'm gonna join. I do hope this would hasten my dreams in the future :3

Sleepless Nights, i miss sleeping in long hours :( This month I only get to sleep around 3-5hrs and sometimes when I sleep I get bad dreams >__________< ohh whyy can't I sleep in peace T___T I wanted this to be the happiest month in my life but It turned out to be the opposite, bad choice :/ hopes down T___T

Bitterness.

The awkward moment when the person you've been ignoring for the past two years suddenly chatted you on facebook :/

I hated him, I blocked him on facebook, and I even ignored him for the past two years. It was hard to forget everything.

At first, I wasn't really sure if I'm gonna reply or not but hey past is past, so why not start with something new right? lol Forgive and Forget has never been one of my motto, but I just hate living a life where someone hates you. So i gave him a reply and everything went smoothly, conversations such as how our lives went since the day of our separation was actually a nice thing to talk about, it's a good relief that both of us had moved on, no more hard feelings and back to being friends :) I'm actually happy because it's finally over, the feeling that's been haunting you because of what had happened in the past is finally gone. YAAAY! . It's a sense of achievement you know, to be in good terms with someone you hated or you never thought you would forgive >__________<

Now, One more to go! :3 but i think it will take time.

A very frustrating day

TIRED.

I thought our exam in English 7 would be that easy but I took it for granted, that was one frustrating exam 100+ items and I only studied for it about 30mins -.-

Falling in love all over again.

Finally, after so many heartbreaks, well not that many. I finally met someone that i think is going to make me happy for the rest of my life lol i might be exaggerating but who knows?

I never thought such guy exist, my very first impression of him was way different to what he is right now, lol I always hated him for being so mean to me. I wonder when it happened? When I started liking him,  At first I thought he was just plain annoying and just some typical guy , but suddenly my perspective changed when I get to know him more, the way he thinks positively at everything kind of stirred something inside me. Up until then I always had a cold attitude towards everything but since I've met him I started to change a little bit at a time. He made me realize a lot of things that giving up because everything doesn't go what you want it to be is already the end, but I was wrong.

Then One day he became a part of my life and that's when I knew that he is the one i love, and i can't stop falling for him :)

 

Siblings.

Today I woke up early, to watch my little siblings mass demo because my dad would arrive late during that time. So he asked me to watch them and take pictures. As the eldest sister its my responsibility to be present , I wasn't planning to go but ya know conscience is haunting me XD They might hate me for not being there on there special days :3

So as I entered the gymnasium i saw different students from different year levels giving me a hard time looking for my lil brother and sister =________= Luckily,the K1 pupils was the first to present there mass demo, and there I saw my lil sister "Jia" among the crowd ( i didn't know that she was still in K1 XD) So i watched her dance with her cute angry bird hat and this awkward smile, I wonder why she is so shy at school, but really noisy at home :/ So, I took pictures of her using my dads cellphone and then i  got pressured with other parents taking pictures with there "Oh so high quality digital cameras"  I was like "what the.. is that a freaking touch pad!?"  >______> jealous much? but who cares what's important right now is I'm present on my siblings presentation and taking pictures for wonderful memories lol (reasons).

It is also my little brothers Birthday "Ethan Josh Roa" they just ate dinner at Jollibee too bad I wasn't there, got classes that time T^T

Busy Day :x

Okaaaay, today i woke up around 11am.

Stayed in the house the whole day, doing my projects and in the same time surfing the net . Now I'm almost done with my Student Profile (What a relief) , Next stop is my project in CSC, I do hope I can solve this error o. Anyone good at Erlang here?

 Around 5pm I took a break, a friend of mine accompanied me to the city to buy something, and he treated me with chocolates again lol. What a good friend :3 We talked a lot especially about his special girl lol Uhm, guess that's all I can say for now back to debugging my Code =.=

Deadlines.

I've done so many things today, decided to create a schedule so i can manage my time :/  I'm so dead this Friday but in the same time Excited <3

Todaaay is a very hectic day for me. So many things to do especially with projects this week:

1. CSC 102 mastermind full game (Got some codes from different sources)
2. English 7 Reporting this Friday and Student Profile (30% on the profile but the report? IDK =.=)
3. Finalize Storyboard (Imma draw it all ohh whyyy)

I'm not really sure how this happened *flashback* crap... everything was my fault I've been procrastinating since last week D= Having too much fun lol and now I'm blogging? HA HA HA hahaha... =____= Actually im pretty mad right now, so not in the mood to do creative stuffs >________< because my mom won't allow me to have an overnight party at the beach with my friends T____________T so i have to change plans.

Today I'm trying to Finish my English Student Profile with the Theme Patapon, I had so much fun that i'm starting to take pictures with it here are some pics:

Emerson's Day

Emerson Emyrs Abraham Sojor.

What can i say about Emerson? He's an awesome friend!
Aside from being good at everything he has a kind heart, I remember one time when he defended me when everyone was backstabbing me [I dunno if he knows about this because they kept it from me knowing that i might get hurt :3 ] but if ever he reads this post I'm really thankful that I met him. He is like an Older brother to me, really understanding and very supportive on the decisions I make.

My first impression when I met Emerson was that.... he was an awkward guy, he talks to anyone that he just met [too friendly right?] and follows them anywhere lol anyway, we became close friends when he started hanging out with one of my closest buddies 'franky'. There i realized he was a funny guy and really talented, he is good at arts and musical instruments and I ENVY HIM SOOO MUCHH  duh! what do you expect, he is the son of the owner of Emrys lol

So, yesterday Emer celebrated his birthday,i just blogged about it today.. got lazy. It was a simple celebration but sooo many food *nom nom nom* had fun hanging out with my closest friends and we talked a lot, especially about our dreams when we grow up, hoping that we would get rich and own a huge company, having our own mansion and still be good friends. I told them if ever anyone has problems we should help one another and must strengthen our relationship no matter what the hardships we took. I do hope that this would happen. A future like this would be worth it, I hate growing up and forgetting about the relationships created with your love ones because of 'MONEY'. Greed for money is another story lol the main point in this post is that i'm really thankful that i met a friend like Emerson :)

Emer may you have a Happy Life and don't forget that I'm always here to support you, I know that its hard on what you have been through right now, but don't hesitate asking me if you need help :3 Open Arms! HAHA.

Free Food! XD

What i love about this day is the fact that i only got P10 left in my wallet, but I get to enjoy the whole afternoon eating free food :3 lol Seriously, Everything was unexpected xD

A friend of mine got his wage today and decided to treat us. He treated us with chocolates and mine was special because I got TOBLERON! *nom nom nom* while others got KitKat x3

 So as one of our daily Sunday Routines (Church -> Mall -> Kwek2 -> Home)  Today's schedule got a twist, It's Raymund's Niece Birthday so he brought us with him to join the party, lol i dunno if this is considered a Gate Crash, but who cares It's free food anyway XD jkjk. Today was fun! Another great memories with my friends :3 May this continue till the end of October Weee~ <3

OctoberFest!

Finally! It's October and this is my time to shine! I love this month so much, because i think this is the only month that makes me think positively (lol). Yes, i am very know as a pessimistic person because i have so many fears in life but when it comes to October I am always looking forward in creating special memories.

This year i am planning NOT to celebrate my 18th birthday on October 25 because I personally think One day is not enough to create happy memories with my love ones. So i thought why not celebrate it Everyday in this month? like doing things that you have never done before or maybe explore exciting(dangerous) places with your friends? At least before I took a step forward to the 'ADULT' world, and say goodbye to my childish years (lol) I've done something that is worth remembering for in my whole existence.

Ah i want to cherish every moment in this month although i hate turning to 18 but what can I do? i can't stop it lol. If only vampires exist I would let them bite me so i can be SEVENTEEN forever XD but that would be boring too right?

Anyway, Today was a great start! I had so much fun earlier with my Friends at Mugna, although I'm broke now =________= well at least, a fun memory was formed, hmm I would like to call this day "Tipsy or Pregnant?" XD We are not drunk but we look more like it because of the rides we took, I already got dizzy with our first ride which was the "Ferris Wheel of Torture" T____________T that was one heck of a Ferris Wheel i was expecting it to be relaxing but it turned out to be the other way around. ~___~ it made me say stuff that i shouldn't like "I'm gonna study hard just STOP this" or "I'm sorry for the bad things etc ect etc." lol recalling it makes me feel stupid :)) It took a while before i recover from that ride, The next ride we took was the dragon coaster, it was fun at least it was not that horrible unlike the ferris wheel -.- followed by Cable Car, our group was divided at this time to "those who are tipsy and pregnant" and to "those who are live awake" so obviously i was one of those tipsy people and I took the Cable Car ride with Marc which was a good time to relax and talk, while others took the Galactic Ride and watching it makes me want to puke XD After having a slow and smooth ride, My stomach is finally functioning well and is ready to take our last ride which was the Constaquidor, It's a ride *how can i describe this* that rocks you back and forth, and its actually a huge ship. Me and my friends positioned ourselves at the last side of the ship because they say its worth it and yes it was, I thought i was about to fly out from where I was sitting O________O After several minutes of screaming it finally ended and my look was like x_________X

I wanted to do the Galactic Ride but I'm out of money D= maybe tomorrow? hehehe I hope so, that was all for todaaay and I took a very long nap lol now im so wide awake and can't sleeep T____________T waiting for someone to get on but I guess he is sleeping now xp later i'm gonna blog if anything special happens today (October 2) well i do hope so, OH! its Emersons birthday one of my special friends, Imma greet him now on FB~ Toodles :3

AHHHH IF ONLY I GOT PICTURES FOR TODAY'S EVENT T_____________T

What would you do when your mad?

What would you do when your mad, but you can't take revenge?
Don't you feel annoyed to the extent that you end up crying and screaming? Don't you want to annihilate your house just because you cant stop the feeling that wanted to burst out within you? As if there is a demon who wants to take over your body just to do all those stuff you want to do to the person who annoyed you, THE MOST.

thats what im feeling at the moment, up until now i cant stop screaming thats why i decided to blog it here so i can express what i feel. it kinda eases me now, im already feeling a lil better compared earlier. now what to rant.

I love my little sisters they are soo adorablee that i want to pinch them, even though they annoy me a lot. WELL ALL THE TIME. I just cant blame them, they are kids right?, hopefully when they grow up they would turn out to be like me, so PATIENT UNDERSTANDING LOVING OH YES IM ACTUALLY COMPLIMENTING MYSELF and may they experience what I've been experiencing tearing the pages of my favorite book, puking on my stuff toys, playing with my make-up and oh my favorite part blame by there mistakes FFFFFF =_____________=


LALALALALA~

Concurrency.

Work in the presence of FAILURE.

An inspiring quote that I've learn from our lesson earlier in CSC102, its actually one of the factors why we should code in parallel.

Erlang is a programming language that is good for multi-tasking applications. It's pretty useful especially if you want to create your own web server, learning this language was fun from the START but shit its getting hard every time we receive a new mac problem from our teacher. CRAAAP i felt like giving up right now, I've manage to code 2 of the activities successfully but on the other three.. i dont want to talk about it T_____________T

This Wednesday is the deadline of our project in CSC which is the Mastermind Game, if ever you played the game you know how it goes and we have to code it in erlang in tail recursion, OMFG i hate it when I already know the algorithm, I know what BIF to use and how it should flow but i just dont know where to fcking start, and yes this is pissing me off up until now i haven't written anything, someone kill me now -.-" So what am i doing blogging? lol I'm actually waiting for a miracle that God might give me the ability to code like a nerd -.- ah crap as if its going to happen... spacing out...staring at the screen.... getting tired...sleep...Zzz...night all.

T_____________________T in despair.

Online Game Addiction #5

My term paper for this semester talks about "The Impact of Online Gaming to Teenagers" and its kinda funny since i'm also a gamer like most teenagers, so as i research more about my term paper its positive/negative effects i can see how true it is because it happened to me for real. This term papers purpose is to know if online gaming can result in unstable social life and the inability to perform tasks and to see if there is any way to stop this addiction. A lot of teenagers like me had worst case of addiction juts like what happened to Dennis Bennett he was failing his college classes, his marriage was in trouble, and he wasn't being much of a father to his 1-year-old son. But he had progressed to Level 58 as Madrid, the Great Shaman of the North, his character in the online role-playing game "EverQuest," and that was all that mattered to him at that time. I mean seriously? leaving behind the important stuff just to level in a game is kinda stupid but we can't blame addiction.

Too much online gaming can also lead to poor health since you spend most of your time playing and you would forgot to eat and sleep but there are also a lot of benefits when it comes to playing online games like acquiring new friends known as Online Friendship and also by getting information from other people around the globe, it also provides entertainment when your bored, in fact Online gaming is one of the most popular entertainment nowadays. Most of the male teenagers are addicted to Online Games, according to research by  Michael Smoker primarily the fact that online games are designed and marketed in a way that makes them addictive. There are, however, factors in online gaming addiction peculiar to men, such as the fact that most games are competitive and males of most animal species are biologically competitive.

"Geb's YTS" by Jon Danao Feedback #4

This is my feedback to Jon's post http://hidekokun.blogspot.com/2011/03/gebs-yts-3.html entitled Geb's YTS. Personally, I love this song especially the lyrics since it relates to me BEFORE well it could happen to all of us especially if you idolize someone so much, that you spend most of your time watching and liking his/her videos.

I admire someone at YouTube before since she's an amazing singer/composer/editor/everything. I like her so much to the extent that i keep on watching her videos and liking/commenting every new videos she just upload. I'm like her number one fan or maybe stalker? lol She's incredibly popular at YouTube so when you ask someone they sure know her a lot. I wanted to post a video response but i just don't have the guts lol, overall i love the video and lyrics because it had always stand as a fact. :3

I could not ask for more #3

I really don't have one specific song that i like since i listen to a wide variety of songs, i got lots of favorites and most of my favorite songs are Japanese Songs since I'm a huge fan of anime, even though i don't understand the lyrics i just love the songs, its easy to search the meaning of the lyrics at Google anyway, but insteead of posting an anime music video i'm going to post a video that my readers/viewers can understand, this song is one of my favorites since its a friendship theme song and its entitles "I could not ask for more" By Edwin McCain. I even made a video out from this songs and most of the clips are the fun moments i spend with my friends, I hope you like it and enjoy watching.






I really love this song because it reminds me of the happiest moments I have been through with my friends.

Random Rants :3

So bored today and decided to blog on something while waiting for my online game to cap, yeah i know its been long since i posted something, so i bet i'm going to talk about a lot of stuff and yes i got tons of stuff on my mind to type. First of all i want to talk about the recent earthquake that happened to Japan, the place that i really want to visit and now its completely destroyed well good thing not all of it was annihilated. I'm from Philippines but i felt like i'm the only pinay who really cares about japan, in my own point of view.

When i watched the news seeing Japan in that situation, it was heartbreaking, i felt sad,pity,nervous, mix negative emotions, flow in my mind.I wanted to fly there immediately to help them but i just can't T__T One of the things i worried the most is the author/manga artist in Japan. I'm a huge fan of anime and if some of them are dead (hoping not) i don't know what will happen to my life, most of my entertainment came from watching anime shows and if those episodes won't continue i don't know the end of the story and that will untamed me for some reasons, its like a cliff hanger got the point? there's this feeling of " I want to know what's the END of the story" but you can't do anything... its like your missing something but you don't know what it is. so for my sake and other anime fans just like me let's pray for those author/manga artist to be safe and most of all the people of Japan. So to all people who wants to help but can't just like me, let's PRAY for Japan, at least we've done something rather than nothing. :)

BE STRONG JAPAN!!